FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Rogue Brewmaster John “The Beard” Maier issued a statement today denying news reports that he is visiting Hawaii. Surveillance cameras leaked on Facebook do indeed show a figure strongly resembling the Beard at a popular beach on the island of Oahu.
However, the person spotted in the photo is not the Beard at all, but rather a member of his security detail on vacation with his family. The Beard apologizes to all of his disappointed fans and promises he will return one day to say, “Aloha” in person.